How NOT To Do Relationship Marketing

In business, Strategy and Tips by mummadigital jodie

In conversations this week I’ve been chatting with heaps of mummas about how to make relationship marketing work for them. Too many have been on the receiving end of salesy, spammy messages and they know that they DON’T want to do that. And fair enough. Me neither. 

What we’re talking about with relationship marketing is connecting with your audience on a 1:1 level, and engaging with them in an authentic way. The why? So you know your customers well enough to serve them properly. The benefit is – when you serve your audience properly, they stick around, and they talk about you. WIN and WIN. Everyone wins. That’s how to do business well. 

So before we dive into the best way to approach this, let’s talk about what NOT to do. 

What not to do #1:
Don’t send bulk messages telling people how great you are, and why they need your services.

Messages like this:

Hey! My name’s Joe and I’m a marketing expert that specialises in paid ads. I have case studies coming out of my ears and I can grow your business by 600% while you sleep. If you want an easy, pain free life with money being delivered to your mailbox, come and sign up for my email list. 

Are not OK. 

What to do instead?

Your messages should yes, introduce you and what you do, but be primarily focussed on the person you’re messaging. Remember, you’re there to SERVE. Ask them questions and find out how you can do that best. Don’t just assume and throw yourself at them. You wouldn’t do it in real life, so don’t do it online.

Also, send messages that are relevant for the person. I’m a business and wellness coach but I also own a marketing agency. Yet, most of the pitches I get are from other marketing people. Clearly they haven’t stopped long enough to actually read my bio before sending me a DM. Fail people, FAIL.

What not to do #2:
Don’t do mass follow / unfollow.
Not cool. I ashamedly admit that I used to do this way back in the day. Someone when I first joined Instagram told me it was how they got to some crazy amount of followers, and I joined the club without thinking. Then it started happening back to me, and I realised what I was doing was actually ridiculous. It wasn;t the way I wanted to do business. I realised that each account is a real live person, not just a business name on a screen and definitely not a number. I changed my philosophy of quality over quantity and moved away from caring about how many ‘followers’ I had. We shouldn’t care about that. It’s purely a vanity metric and it does not matter.

What to do instead?
What we can do is intentionally and strategically connect with accounts that we think are our ideal customers. We are business women after all. We’re allowed to be strategic. 

We need to move away from thinking that anything that isn’t organic is ‘bad’. In business, in this noisy online space, we cannot afford to just let things happen. We HAVE to take a birds eye view, set goals and move tactically towards them. If you;re not willing to do that, to step out of your comfort zone and strategically act in a way that will bring more people and revenue into your business, you need to stop now.

One way you can do this is, find out where your ideal client is hanging out online, and be there too. Find them, view their content, and intentionally but thoughtfully and authentically engage with their content. I mean, if you like a photo, like their photo, but also comment. Push yourself to engage more than you naturally would. Don’t just consume content, but connect with it. Doing this means that your ideal clients see your name popping up again and again. They also associate your name with being kind, because they get a little ego boost when someone likes and comments on their stuff. We all do. That’s cool. Nothing wrong with that. As long as we’re not defining ourselves by it or tying our identity to it.

Hopefully, they also come and check out your profile, and they follow you. When they do, you can get in their DMs and send a thank you note, and start a conversation. You have plenty to talk about becuase you genuainely like their stuff, and they obviously like your too. It;s the beginning of a beautiful business relationship. 

And guess what – if you follow people, and you engage and they don’t like you back? It doesn’t matter. You;re only connecting with accounts that resonate with you anyway, so there’s no downside. The worst case scenario is, you’ve got lots of cool stuff in your feed. It’s FINE.

So set a time limit of how long you want to spend a day on IG and set an alarm, and Go! Be SOCIAL on social media. And if really, you’re not getting ANY love back, you may need to up your content game or change your messaging. But first, assume all is fine and see what happens before you fix what isn’t broken!

What not to do #3: 

Don’t comment on people’s content with your links.

Now above, when you;re commenting on people’s posts, you’re not commenting with all your sales pages or products etc – unless someone ACTUALLY asks you to.

Again, the spotlight isn’t on us here. We’re trying to build mutually beneficial relationships. Don’t be that person at the dinner party that interrupts people to talk all about them and their really cool, exciting lives. 

What to do instead?
The best overarching rule is … Say what you’re thinking. But if you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all.

How do you want people to FEEL when they talk to you, and consume your content? Choose some adjectives (upbeat, inspired, amused etc) and be that. Your attitude is infectious, good or bad. So be good. 

What not to do #4: 

Don’t keep sending messages when people say they’re not interested. 

Yes, people do this. I’ve experienced all just this week, and it’s my bet that you have too! People, do you really think I’m going to be a client by you just annoying me? It reminds me of when I went to buy a car when I was 6 months pregnant with my first. I had an old Pulsar and my hubby had a few yr old station wagon he used for work (he was a chippy). My Pulsar was fine, but the back seats didn’t go down and there was no access to the boot from the car. Annoying when you have big things. And I thought annoying when I had a carseat in it. This salesman guy ‘Russell’ didnt realise I was pregnant because I had a big coat on.

All he saw was this mid twenties girl and keep luring me away from the older bigger cars, and towards the brand new little Barina. He thought that warmed seats and blah blah blah was going to sell me. I kept telling him all I needed was air con and cruise control – but he didn’t want to listen so I left. He called me 5 times in the next 2 hours. FIVE TIMES. Needless to say I called his manager and that was the end of that. But come on now people – be client focussed. Don’t be a Russell.

What to do instead?

Say No worries at all, thank you for your time. If there’s anything I assist with in the future, please get in touch. End. Of. Story. Move on. There’s more than enough business, that one’s not for you. 

So I hope that helps mummas with what NOT to do in relationship marketing, as well as my biggest tips. 

Now if you’re a mumma with a service based business, who want their work to supports and flow with their lives, not the other way around – you need to join our FREE 5 DAY Marketing, Mindset & Movement workshop. It’s happening LIVE in the Business Mummas FB group from 17th Feb. 12pm EDT Monday – Friday in the group.

You can Register at

We’re talking about how physical, cognitive and professional wellbeing combine to impact professional performance. 

You’ll learn how by focussing on your wellbeing you can:

– overcome the overwhelm

– set big goals and achieve them

– build your business to 6 figures and beyond

– only work 1-3 days a week, in your own time, around your family and other commitments 

Who’s it for? Mummas with service based business, who want their work to supports and flow with their lives, not the other way around.

It almost sounds like it’s a pipe dream, but it’s not. And this free workshop will help you get there.

Thats it from me this week. Have a fab one and I’ll see you right here next week!